Haircare Hotline

No creativity was required in creating this post's name. I hope you get a chuckle out of this, as I did. :)

Last week my hairdryer died. I think I purchased it when I moved to Texas and had a "real job" that required professional dress and professional hair. My hair doesn't "style", but it does dry, and a dryer was necessary in Texas. I think I purchased it at a Target. I purchased a small one with a retractable cord. I don't need much, just something to blow hot air at my wet locks. Well, it died. In all its linted, dusty, 7 year glory, it died. I have no idea if 7 years is a normal lifespan for a hairdryer. Anyway...I digress.

So I went to Target the other day and purchased the exact same hairdryer. Same brand, same model, just the newer version. Finally pulled it out to use it yesterday. No, I didn't need "professional hair" on a Saturday, but I was getting a massage. If my hair was damp, I'd get off the massage table and who knows what my semi-dry locks would do!!

As I pulled it out of its box, the instruction manual fell out onto the floor. I flipped my head upside down to dry my hair, as everyone knows you're supposed to do....hey, my hair needs all the body it can get! So as I invertedly dried my hair, I caught a glimpse of the instructions. Front page? "Haircare Hotline". What???? Surely I misread...

I inspected closer and upright this time. Sure 'nough, "Haircare Hotline". Now I will fully admit I am no hair stylist, no haircare extraordinaire, I don't even pretend to "do" my hair. My repertoire consists of down, and up in a ponytail. Depending on current bang length, I may toss in a barette, but that's it. So when I see "Haircare Hotline", I am unsure of what that might be.

When I think of hotlines, I think of suicide prevention, abuse, even teen pregnancy. But haircare? Hotline to me implies emergency, so what haircare emergencies are there?

"Haircare hotline, how can I help you?"
"HELP! I'm having a bad hair day!!!"
"Now ma'am, there's no need to panic. Stay calm. We all have bad hair days. Can you explain the symptoms?"

OR
"Help! My hair is frizzy and I have a date in an hour!"

Really, the only haircare emergency I can think of is
"Help, all my hair just fell out!"
But in that case, what good is a hotline?